A Story Waiting To Be Told…

cheesy cheesy cheesy love letter

Love letter… (When last) When last did I write a love letter, if at all I have ever written one?? Do people still do that? Am I gonna have to mail it? *chuckles* but ke I couldn’t not write this…

Dear Sugar 😒😂

Where do I even begin? I wish I were some sort of a poet, able to write you the sweetest poem. I wish I had the same relationship Pablo Neruda had with his pen and paper. I wish I could put pen to paper and make magic happen just to make you understand what I’m trying to say. You have been nothing but amazing, even that word is an understatement.

You look out for me like no one ever has before. I just thought I’d remind you that you are loved and you are greatly appreciated. My prayer is that God fulfills your every desire and brings to life your every dream. No one has a heart purer than yours.

Thank you for holding it down in EVERY department! I love you.

I could go on and on and on ke kodwa what I wanted to say is that uyathandwa ndim. More than you can imagine. Stay as you are, keep focused on those goals and yeah man…

Konje bengithini? 😂

I love you sugar.


Working on being a pleasant memory…

Looking back at the shadows of the people that made you you, are there any significant people that you could say truly came into your life with the sole purpose of shaping you? Are there people that you helped shape into better beings? I think the next time you walk into someone’s life, whether it be at work, relationship or just at a shop…think about the kind of impression you will leave behind. I’m working on being one of the best memories.

So many people, situations and things shape and define who we are and who we have been and what we will become. I believe that everyone that walks into our lives brings something into our lives. Sometimes they bring valuable lessons and some come to teach us what we don’t need in our lives. We are built by numerous blocks of experience and circumstance, and it is up to us to decide what lessons we take away from these life encounters. We can either sulk and busk in being victims of circumstance or we can take away the good of each situation.

There are people that have walked into our lives like whirlwinds and turned things upside down and left us asking ourselves why God allowed our paths to cross theirs. Then there are those that ignite something within us so powerful, beautiful and absolutely amazing that we just want them to stay and never leave, but only to find that they are not meant to be in our lives for long…or that we are not meant to stay in their lives. Their memory lingers on long after they have exited our lives and when we find ourselves running down memory lane, ghosts of acquaintances, friends and relatives past are what helped us to choose what paths to take and which to abandon.

One day a, in memory of you, a story will be told. What impression are leaving?

Is There Always A Hidden Agenda?

So what ever happened to platonic male/female friendships? Do they not exist anymore and have they ever existed to begin with or is that just a myth? I, personally think co-ed friendships do exist and can exist without any coital activities having to take place. LoL, seriously…But it seems the game has changed and people are constantly trying to hit it and Social media has made it impossible for people to be platonic friends.  It’s somehow taken away from real, genuine friendships.  Or that’s what it looks like.  The visual and imagined influence of social media makes opposite sex friendship impossible.

The high rate of thirsty guys has also made it rather challenging to have a decent conversation with people of the opposite sex on social media.  Even if it’s purely innocent, when someone of the opposite sex greets you via inbox or DM, the alarms immediately go off and you’re thinking “thirsty”.  Or even if you happen to “see” (whether it be through snooping or whatever means used) messages to your partner from a person of the opposite sex, you jump to sometimes stupid conclusions because it seems like there is no longer room for platonic friendships in our lives. WHY??

Usually you ignore these bothersome messages from strangers, you could be missing out on a potential business opportunity or just a good platonic conversation.  LoL kodwa usually it’s some thirsty niggz trying to waste your time.

Can we get back to just being friends…like for reals reals?? With no hidden agendas…It could save the Ozone layer.

Human nature is the most interesting thing ever.  I’m so intrigued by what makes other people think and behave a certain way and by what makes us all the same but at the same time so different.  We all see things in such different ways, the same situations affect us so differently.  Where was I going with this :/

Reviewing Your Bae…

PerformanceReviewSo I just had my final performance appraisal done for this year done…eish the pressure and the reality check!  Planning and working towards this was so agonizing, but actually it is something that needs to be done.  This exercise allows you to reflect on what you set out to do or planned to do when the year began.  So doing the appraisal, half way through the year and at the end of the year helps one look back at how far you have come and to actually measure in order to see if you stuck to your word and followed through on your plans.  It didn’t go too bad…but there is room for improvement obviously.

So anyway this somehow got me thinking about how cool (or not) it would be if we could do performance appraisals in our relationships :D.

Not to say that relationships should have contracts or anything, but when you enter into that committed relationship there is some level of expectations, and in the happy, cheery, blossomy beginning of the relationship you do make some promises to make each other happy till kingdom come! If you were to do a performance appraisal with your partner on your performance or contribution in the relationship, would say you are on the right track? If you reflect on how things were in the beginning and the way things are now…would you say you are “doing your job correctly” are you delivering?

I think that would be interesting because somewhere in between work, family and just life in general we forget to maintain the consistency of things with our partners.  We forget to do the things that made us “get” our partners in the 1st place.  So the performance appraisal would work to our advantage…lol.  Imagine having to rate yourself in the different categories, do your still score a 5 out of 5??

Okay, okay that would be an awkward thing to do with you bae, but maybe just do it alone, just reflect.  Reflect on your life as well, are you still on the right track?

So Just Live On!!!

I just heard someone tell someone that time heals all wounds…I really cannot agree to this.  Time heals all wounds? Hhmmm let me just think about that for a minute…I’m still not quite sure about that.  I think one is somehow forced to move on after things happen, and the moving on sometimes automatically just happens, because time passes, it does not stop because you are hurting or because you want to savour a beautiful moment, doesn’t really heal you but just goes by.  Time just passes.

What I do know though is that things really do come to pass.  Things happen, life happens, you get hurt and it feels as if you are never ever gonna be able to make it past the hurt.  It always feels like the darkness is just there to stay.  And at that point in your life you just forget that it wasn’t always that way.  It’s the same as when things are going great in life, sometimes everything just goes according to plan, and it’s all just perfect…you are happy, things go insanely well at that time, it does not stay that way forever…it all passes with time.  Just make sure you really enjoy it, and make the most out of it.

Anyway, I forgot where I was going with this :/  lol

How amazing are 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances!

It’s as if I’m experiencing this for the very 1st time. But I’ve been here before, I’ve floated on these clouds before. I’ve experienced ecstasy before, but not like this. Bowled off my feet, blown out of this world. Swept off my feet in the most amazing way. Glad I took another chance.

We write off a lot of things and any possibilities of second chances to blog post july 2014happiness as soon as things go sour in our current undertakings and soon to be past relationships… Be it personal or professional. We pretty much give up hope on the possibility of finding happiness or resolutions to our current problems. We forget about fresh starts. We forget that everything has a beginning and most times an ending (even if it’s an unwanted ending), we need to remember that it’s okay to start over or to be alone even. Learn from the past (be it your mistakes or just lessons learnt) and forge ahead.

We completely forget that we’ve been there before, we’ve broken down, been miserable, been at our lowest…but got back up again and had another shot at another 1st time or simply a much needed fresh start!

How amazing are 2nd chances, 3rd and 4th chances even 🙂

Where I am right now feels like the 1st time. A beautiful 1st time, I’m allowing myself to busk in the joy and awe of doing something for the 1st time, another chance. The end of one thing is most often the beginning of something much bigger and better. Allow yourself to “grieve” or “mourn” whatever is coming to an end, then look forward to the amazing things ahead of you. Yes it’s often easier said than done…but you’ve done it before. 

decide to be ha…

decide to be happy…

“When we decide to be happy we accept the responsibility to bring happiness to someone else. Some decide that happiness and glee are the same thing, they are not. When we choose happiness we accept the responsibility to lighten the load of someone else and to be a light on the path to another who may be walking in darkness. “~ Maya Angelou

A man’s work…what makes a guy think he stands a chance with a girl?

The other day we were walking down the street to wherever, when some loser looking dude came up and started chatting up my very very hot and classy friend.  This guy was serious, it wasn’t one of those, “hallo mabhebeza” kind of things, and you could see that this dude really thought he stood a chance here… WHY? HOW? Clearly this is person was delusional…or am I just judgemental as a person? This got me thinking, what makes a guy pursue the girl that he pursues? What makes a girl consider the “proposal” or even give the guy a couple minutes of her time?  As women, we also tend to judge a bit too quickly.

courtship blogAt that very moment when a guy decides to “make his move” on a girl, what makes the guy think he stands a chance with the girl?  What makes him think you are his type, because at times you get hit on by the shadiest, ugliest character?  Does that mean he took one look at you and thought…ahhh she is definitely my type!! lol I hope not… Some guys are just too ambitious! You aim way too high o_O Krkrkrkrkr I suppose the sky is the limit? LOL

Being a woman is sometimes hard some might say…because of our monthly friend, the load we carry for 9 months and oh actually delivering that load!  And a lot of other things, a lot.  But I ask isn’t being a man hard too?…I ask this because I know women, I know how difficult and head strung we can be. I can just imagine having to court a woman…actually I can’t imagine it! I’d probably be still dating my 1st girlfriend from high school if I were a guy lol…I’d probably be gay actually because women are difficult, but definitely worth the effortJ.

Ukushela umsebenzi! You see this girl that you think is the one for you! You know in your heart of hearts that this one is the one. Then…you have to go up to her and make your move. That’s if you have the nerve.  I imagine that this requires a loooot of courage.  Do you let your assets speak for you or maybe your looks? I just wonder.  Is there a formula that guys use to “secure” their places in their potential partners’ hearts or is this something that comes with age and experience?   What do guys look out for?  What makes guys think “that one will most definitely yes”.

All this also makes me wonder about the men who have numerous girlfriends…how do they do it? I mean women can be mean, unapproachable and require so much maintenance and effort, so if you have more than one gal?  Master of multi-tasking or too much time on your hands or huge appetite :’)?

These days though, I think the guys have it a bit easier.  Social media has made so much easier to engage the fairer sex.  I’m pretty sure that there are guys out there who are eternally grateful for these little heaven sent tools. Some guys would not had the courage they have now had it not been for Facebook, twitter and what not.  Now love is just a “poke” away lol.

So back to my question, what makes a guy think he stands a chance with a girl?

What doeBeFunky_lie to me.jpgs that even mean? I love you?  Why do some people crave those words so much, while other cringe at the thought of them?  The words that carry sooo much weight! LoL!!

In different situations, it means a lot of different things… It has often been said “I love you, (but not in that way)” or “I love you, (because the sex was that good)” or “I love you, (because I’m just a liar”) it has been said “I love you, (because I think you’re what I think I need)”.  Those three words in my opinion are not to be thrown around lightly just because it seems like the right or the convenient thing to say at the time…think about the repercussions.  I’m not talking about that sisterly or brotherly love.  I mean in romantic situations, flings and sexual encounters that have lingered on way longer than their sell-by date.

How many of you have said those 3 little big words just so you could get laid and later regretted it with every inch of your body and mind, because the chick is now stuck on those words and just wants to be loved? You said it!!! You brought it onto yourself.  On that same note however, I can’t imagine how many people would get slapped if they were to be upfront enough to just say “hey, wanna shag?”   It is a sticky little issue I must say, and we must tread lightly and not think only with the lower parts of our bodies.

Why do we do it?  And we have become so good at it.  There is almost no value in hearing those words anymore…its value is not completely lost, but you almost have to take hearing those words with a pinch of salt. I’m not saying I don’t believe in love or that everything is about love, but a lot does revolve around it.  We have to keep in mind that we do not have the same mindset(s), so just because you think in a certain way, it doesn’t mean I will think in that way too.  So, I say there is no talk that beats strait talk.  Put your cards on the table, tell him/her what you’re about; the person will either stick around to take it or will just leave!

I find it is not always necessary to say those words.  But we get so caught up in trying to have relationships that we forget what we’re really about and we end up in “situationships” (as per M.L.).  We don’t always have to label the relations we have with people (that’s just me).  So, if we are not in love…can we have a mutual understanding and just be clear about what is going on and not sell each other dreams we will not be able to make a reality.

Basically it all boils down to being open minded, not having too many expectations and remembering “we hear what you’re saying, but it’s what you do that counts”.

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